every shitty thing.

so the band recorded some yesterday.
first it was just gio and i recording some guitar and synth stuff.
later on kristan came by, did some guitar stuff, and i did my vocals.
i was really really drunk.
since i've started drinking, i haven't really had any "bad" experiences. no drunken depression. no fights. i'm a pretty happy guy most of the time, drunken time included.
last night though, let me tell you.
it was the perfect combination of the sad bastard song i was singing, and my emotional state as of late. the song, it takes me back to a real bad place. when i wrote it, i figured it'd kind of help heal some wounds. maybe it will, but reliving it while i'm drunk, maybe not such a good idea.
and then with the things i've been hearing lately, and experiencing. ehh.
i had nightmares all god damned night. woke up sweating, not knowing whether my dreams were real or not.
it's shitty to start your day off like that, you know?
so...today i'm going to have to make a conscience effort to stay afloat.

good things are coming my way.
i start the job on monday.
paycheck's on the way, so i'll be able to start training again.
the band is finally getting off our asses and onto our feet.
meeting new friends every day.
i'm having fun, for the most part. just this last week has kind of thrown me for a loop.


everything's gonn' be alright.